Paradise Lost
by Tigereye77
Summary: Hotch finally realizes the woman he really wants is Emily, but he may be too late. An x-over with Hawaii 5-0, Emily/OMC, told mainly from Hotch's POV. It's angst, notice the labeling, so HotLy fans beware. Done as a birthday gift for CriminalHistory.


**A/N: This little ditty was written for CriminalHistory's birthday. I know I'm late, but work has been insane since the beginning of the year so I'm trying to sneak in writing time when I can, which isn't often enough. Birthday Girl had asked for some Emily/Steve McGarrett of "Hawaii 5-0" smut. There's some of that in here plus some bad language, but what was supposed to be a bit of PWP, turned into a bit of an angst piece. Oh come on, what do you expect from the Angst Pimp? It's in my DNA! Anyway, it's told mainly from Hotch's POV and everyone knows, I love me some HotLy, but uhm, HotLy fans, you might want to give this a bit of a pass because as I said, it's ANGST. I've even labeled it that way.**

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><p>Anyone else would think he was in paradise, but Aaron Hotchner knew he was truly in Hell.<p>

Nevermind the warm tropical breeze, the heady scent of exotic flowers, the beautiful view of the water as the sunset painted the sky and ocean a riot of colors, Hotch knew that right now he was being punished by God for all of his transgressions made during the nearly five decades he had spent on this Earth.

At this moment, he was watching the woman he finally realized he was in love with dirty dancing with another man.

Not just any man, but the model for Mr. Hunky Action Hero.

Freakin' Steve "Hey, I'm A Navy SEAL" McGarrett.

As Hotch watched the couple gyrate on the dance floor, he absently took another swig of his beer, not even realizing it was his seventh one for the night. His focus was slowly on the couple who were all but having sex there on the dance floor right before his eyes. McGarrett's hand cupped Emily's shapely ass and he had her pulled tight against him, every inch of their bodies in contact with the other person. Hotch had no doubts she could feel the affect she was having on the ex-SEAL. Her sly, seductive smile told him she knew exactly what was going. What heterosexual male wouldn't get an erection having that beauty slowly grinding against him? Especially not dressed like that.

Emily was wearing a short, vibrant blue wrap dress that bared a lot of leg, but still draped elegantly around her. It hugged her curves lovingly, showing off her magnificent figure and making her the center of attention for many men, Hotch included.

He only had himself to blame for this situation. He had started a relationship with Beth that he never felt quite right about, but decided to pursue anyway. That had pushed Emily further away from him and by the time he realized Beth wasn't who he wanted and Emily was, it was too late. The agent had grown too distant and out of his reach. When Beth came into the picture, she had removed herself from his life in all ways except professionally. There were no longer any private conversations where he would share some news about Jack, the occasional meal when they both worked late. The ease they exhibited in each other's presence had vanished and the gulf between them was as wide as it was when she first started at the BAU. Hotch had attempted to reconnect with his lovely agent, but then this request from Honolulu came in and the team had jetted to the island. How was Hotch to know that Emily would meet up with an old friend? Especially an old friend who looked like McGarrett and who clearly was enamored of Emily.

Hell, even JJ and Garcia were swooning over the man. Worse yet, due to their past relationship, McGarrett and Emily appeared to just pick up from wherever they had left off. For the past week, Hotch had been treated to the infuriating sight of Emily flirting with the ex-Navy Seal. Flirting! Prentiss! How many men have hit on her before during cases and she never gave any of them the time of day? But with this man, she actually responded to him. She even giggled! Emily never giggles!

"They make a good-looking couple."

Hotch grunted in annoyance as Rossi took the seat next to him. The older man looked at him with a slightly amused look on his face. He knew exactly what was bothering Hotch, but well, Aaron brought it upon himself. When Rossi had encouraged Hotch to go after Beth, it was really more about just giving the man some of his confidence again. Dave knew it would never work out. Why would Hotch be interested in a woman who stalked him and with whom he had nothing in common with? But it would be the first step he needed to take to begin to try again in a real relationship. Of course, trust Aaron to do everything much more slowly than anticipated. It had taken Hotch forever to realize Beth wasn't the one for him, but Emily was, and that was after Aaron had been hit in the face with proof of Beth's infidelity. However, by the time Hotch had finally come to his Earth-shattering realization, Emily had come to her own epiphany and decided to move on with her life.

And waiting in the wings was Steve "Navy SEALS Abs" McGarrett.

They had been slammed with back-to-back cases so there was never any chance to speak to her. Rossi had watched as each time Hotch seemed to gather up the courage to approach Emily, they were assigned a new case. Then, just when they were hoping for some downtime, this case in Hawaii came up. While they were all exhausted, each of them had perked up when they heard they were going to the beautiful island paradise. Rossi shook his head at the incredibly bad timing his old friend had in the romance department.

When this case came up, Hotch thought it would be the perfect opportunity and setting to share his feelings with Emily. What he hadn't anticipated was Emily meeting up with an old friend. Or flame. It was never made clear to him. All he knew was as soon as they laid eyes on each other, it was almost impossible to pry the two apart.

"_I'm SSA Aaron Hotchner," Hotch said as he shook the shorter man's hand who had introduced himself as Daniel Williams. He looked over Williams' shoulder to the taller man who stood behind him, his arms crossed over his chest, a suspicious and irritated look on his face._

"_Ignore the scowling mute behind me," Williams told Hotch. "McGarrett there isn't quite sold on this profiling stuff and prefers to handle things in house."_

"_I told the Governor we didn't need outside help," Steve growled in his raspy voice, eyeing Hotch closely._

_Internally, Hotch sighed. McGarrett's attitude wasn't anything new, but Hotch still didn't like it. He just hoped this guy didn't give his team any trouble. He heard his colleagues coming up behind him and turned._

"_Allow me to introduce the rest of my team. Agents Rossi, Morgan, Pren-"_

"_Emily? Emily Prentiss?" McGarrett interrupted. The transformation was amazing to watch. McGarrett went from surly to shocked to completely ecstatic. "Emily!" He pushed Williams and Hotch aside and hurried to the startled brunette._

"_Steve McGarrett?" Hotch was surprised by the way Emily's face completely lit up when she saw the other man. He had never seen her that…happy._

"_My God," McGarrett breathed out as he lifted Emily up off her feet in a tight embrace. "God, it's true! You're alive." He set her back down on her feet and stared in wonderment into her face. "And more beautiful than ever." One hand reached out to touch her cheek._

_Alarm bells were screaming in Hotch's head as he watched Emily's eyes drop, a look of chagrin on her face. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I'm sorry to have made you think I was dead."_

"_It doesn't matter," Steve whispered, his voice rough with emotion as he pulled her towards her again. "You're here. You're alive." He buried his face into her fragrant hair._

"_Wow," Williams said, in a stunned voice. "McGarrett is being all…emo. I think there should be pigs flying by the window any second now."_

_Hotch simply stared in dismay, jealousy and shock as another man drew the woman he was in love with into his arms and she let him._

Hotch had spent the rest of the case trying to keep the two apart. He made sure Emily was partnered with him where he could run interference if McGarrett got close, but the muscled maverick somehow still found time to be with her, despite Hotch's best efforts. His one small comfort was that he knew Emily would never do anything while the case was active, but now that they had solved it…

"Whoa, is that even legal to do in public?" Rossi's amused voice said into Hotch's ear as he watched Emily move slowly and sinuously against McGarrett. The older profiler glanced over at Hotch and noted how his old friend gripped the beer bottle in his hand so tight, his knuckles were turning white. Dave raised an eyebrow and peered intently at Hotch's profile. "Aaron?"

"She's making a fool out of herself," Hotch spat out angrily as McGarrett put his hands on Emily's hips and moved up behind her. She threw her head back on his shoulder, exposing the graceful column of her neck where the other man placed his lips and began to kiss. Hotch's beer bottle came crashing down as his hand brought it sharply onto the table. "That son of a bi-"

"Aaron!" Rossi snapped out sharply, a hand going to Hotch's arm to restrain him. "Don't." He made sure Hotch was not going to leave his chair and looked at his friend. "What the Hell has gotten into you? What Emily does with an old friend on her personal time is none of your business."

"Old friend, ha!" Hotch snorted. He took another swig of beer. "Lovers. They were former lovers and he wants to pick up where they left off."

"So? If that's what she wants, what right do you have to say she shouldn't? She's a grown woman who we both know can take care of herself."

"Because she should be with me," Hotch hissed out. The beer was having an effect on him, making him more belligerent and his tongue much looser. Rossi could smell the alcohol on his friend and he looked at Hotch first and then out onto the dance floor where Emily was oblivious to the discussion they were currently having.

"Does she know how you feel?" Rossi asked quietly.

"No. I haven't had a chance to tell her before this case came up and HE appeared," Hotch said in a bitter tone.

"If it's Emily you've always wanted, why the Hell did you start dating Beth?"

"I didn't know I wanted Emily until I did start dating Beth," Hotch sighed. "Every time I was with Beth, I would think, 'This is nice. She's nice.' But I knew something was missing. Then I started comparing the two of them. 'Oh, Emily would have laughed at that' or 'Emily would have ordered the chicken.' I didn't even realize I was doing it until-"

"What?" Rossi probed when Hotch stopped abruptly.

"I called her Emily once by mistake," Hotch muttered.

"Ouch."

"Trust me, it was painful for me as well. She wasn't happy about it since she knew my ex-wife's name was 'Haley', and that I worked with an 'Emily'." Hotch didn't go into details, but Rossi could guess the fallout wasn't pretty.

"But I thought you were the one who broke it off?" Rossi frowned. "You know, because of…" He made a small gesture. "How is that going, by the way?"

"Almost cleared up," Hotch muttered. If he didn't think about it, he could almost forget the itching and burning sensation, but now that Rossi brought it up, he shifted in his seat.

"Well, it's a good thing you found out before she gave you something more serious," Rossi said in a kind tone.

Hotch grunted in agreement as his attention went back to the dance floor, but in those few moments he was distracted, Emily and McGarrett had disappeared. Hotch swore and he stood up to his full height, his head swiveling around as he scanned the crowded bar for the couple.

"Dammit!" he snarled. "I lost them!"

As Hotch swung about unsteadily, Rossi tried to calm him down. The man was more than a little drunk and extremely emotional right now. He was afraid if Aaron found McGarrett there would be a fight and while he knew Hotch was in good shape, he was no match for the ex-Navy SEAL who likely wasn't drunk.

"Aaron! Aaron! Calm down!" Rossi said soothingly. "You're going to have to trust Emily to do what's right for herself and let her find the path that will make her happy."

"She'll be happy with me!" His words came out slurred and Rossi knew he needed to get his friend back to the hotel and safely tucked into bed before he did something he would regret.

"And you should talk to her about that. But not tonight and not in the state you're in," Rossi said in a firm tone. He grabbed Hotch's arm and helped him towards the exit. "Come on, let's get back to the hotel."

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><p>Rossi was relieved that Hotch had become much more docile on the trip back to their hotel and he had no problem getting the other man into his room and dumping him onto the bed.<p>

Hotch turned over once and almost immediately fell asleep. Rossi rolled his eyes, relieved it had been that easy and left the room, pulling the door shut behind him.

As soon as he heard the door close, Hotch's eyes popped open. He sat up in bed and eyed the connecting door that led into the room next door. Emily's room.

As a safety measure, when the team had connecting rooms, the connecting doors were typically left unlocked to ensure quick entry should one member find himself or herself in trouble. There had never been cause for a team member to go into another member's room, but given how frequently his team had been targeted, it was something Hotch had insisted on along with a master key that allowed him access to each team member's room as well as always having either himself or Morgan next to the female team members' rooms. Plus, in this case, it made it easier to hear what was going on next door.

He opened the door on his side and was faced with the closed one that was connected to Emily's room. For a moment, Hotch began to doubt what he was doing. It was sneaky, an invasion of privacy and he had absolutely no right to do this. Hell, this was the type of behavior that some of the monsters he chased began with, but his alcohol addled brain remembered how McGarrett had his hands all over Emily when they were on the dance floor and in his drunk state, he convinced himself what he was doing was in her best interest.

Cautiously, he put his ear to the door.

Emily's sharp cry almost caused him to ram the door open with his shoulder, but something made him pause. Quietly, he turned the knob and eased the door open a crack. Peering through the small slit he could only see a portion of the room, but it was enough to know what was happening.

They were up against the dresser, with Emily sitting on it, her long, bare legs wrapped around McGarrett's waist. His pants and boxers pooled around his ankles and his shirt was off. Hotch could see the play of muscle as it strained under his skin as he thrust forcefully into Emily, his buttocks clenching and unclenching. The other man blocked most of her body from Hotch's view, but he could see her dress was pulled open and her bra half off. One bare breast peeked perkily over the arm McGarrett had wrapped around her and her head was thrown back, her eyes closed as the two fucked violently.

Anger and jealousy boiled inside of Hotch and he almost started forward until the look on Emily's face made him pause.

Ecstasy. The pleasure she had on her face made her look so beautiful that it rooted Hotch to his spot. All he could do was watch her for a few seconds before he realized what he was doing and shame filled him. He was spying on a woman he had come to care about very much while she was having sex with another man. He wanted to close the door and slink back into his room and forget the sight before him, but he couldn't. It was as if he was fixed in that spot, his eye pressed against the sliver of an opening, watching Emily as McGarrett took her.

"Oh God! Steve! Steve!" he heard her cry out, jealousy filling him again for she was crying out some other man's name and not his.

"Fuck, Emily! So fucking good! So long! So long I've wanted you!" growled McGarrett as he slammed even harder into her, making the dresser shake and the few objects still on it rattle violently.

She cried out again and Hotch's grip on the door handled tightened even more. Her sobs were louder and became a mixture of pleasure and pain. Emily suddenly stiffened and let out a startled gasp. McGarrett's hips pistoned wildly until Hotch saw his body go completely rigid. He collapsed against Emily, their harsh breathing filled the air.

McGarrett raised his head and Hotch watched as the other man tenderly kissed Emily's sweat-dampened forehead. "You okay?" he asked quietly.

She only nodded mutely and Hotch grew concerned. A slightly blank expression had settled over her face. She flashed the other man a smile, but Hotch could tell it was forced.

"I'm so sorry," Steve continued contritely. "I didn't want our first time to be like this. I wanted to give you roses and candle lights. Not take you on a dresser." His hand came up to gently stroke her cheek. "I just couldn't control myself."

"It's okay," Emily replied. She kissed him. "It was incredible." Her voice was sincere, but Hotch could tell there was something else.

So did McGarrett. A mirror was behind Emily and Hotch could see the look on the ex-Navy SEAL's face. Aaron knew that McGarrett was trying to read Emily's expression. "I just need to take care of something," he murmured kissing her lips quickly. "I'll be right back."

He kicked off his pants and boxers that were around his ankles before making his way naked to the bathroom. Hotch could hear the bathroom door shut firmly, but his eyes never left Emily.

She sat on the dresser, her legs spread open, her dress and bra half off. She should have looked debauched and spent, but instead, she looked small and sad, like a broken, discarded doll. Even in that state, Hotch couldn't help but feel a small stirring of desire in his gut as he watched Emily slide off the dresser and remove all of her clothing until she stood naked, staring at herself in the mirror.

Hotch watched as she touched her collarbone and her hand moved down her body. He pushed the door open a little wider, not sure what Emily was doing, but seeing the incredibly sad expression on her face. He had only seen that look from her two times before, once when she came to him about her friend Matthew and the last time when she told him she was having a bad day. He was a hair's breadth away from rushing into the room and scooping her up into his arms with promises of doing everything he could to take away her bad day when he heard McGarrett's voice.

"Tell me what's wrong."

Hotch saw Emily's head turn towards the direction of the voice. Unbeknownst to both of them, the other man had walked back into the room and had also been watching Emily.

"Emily," Steve's voice was gentle and low, "Please, tell me what's wrong." He came forward towards her and stopped a few feet away.

Hotch could see her profile and the doubt in her face. She opened her mouth and then closed it. He could see her struggling with something and finally, she spoke in a quiet, broken voice.

"I'm having a bad day."

For most men, hearing that after he had just had sex with a woman would have been insulting or worrisome to him. The man would likely turn around and get out of there and no matter how much that might have hurt Emily, Hotch hoped that would be what McGarrett would do. But Hotch felt his heart sink as McGarrett came forward to take her into his arms. He brushed back some hair from her face and said, "Tell me about it."

Hotch couldn't watch or listen anymore as Emily laid her head onto McGarrett's shoulder and wrapped her arms around the other man.

To that point, he had been the one, the only one she would speak to and trust with her bad days. He had been happy about that, prideful. It wasn't JJ or Morgan she trusted. Not Rossi or Garcia or Reid, but him, Aaron Hotchner who was the only one the private, elusive and secretive Emily Prentiss would tell about her bad days. But now another man was claiming that privilege. A man who had just made love to her, who looked at her with the same emotion Hotch could feel in his own heart. A man who could quite possibly love her the same way and as much as he himself did. A man who quite possibly had just stolen the woman Hotch loved.

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><p><strong>AN 2: Hope you enjoyed it Birthday Girl, and everyone else who read it. Maybe you think it was a bit OCC for Hotch, but I attribute it to partly his overwhelming emotions and partly to the fact that he was pretty near drunk.**


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